Title: Misfits
Year: 2009–2013
Actors: Nathan Stewart-Jarrett, Joe Gilgun, Iwan Rheon, Lauren Socha, Antonia Thomas, Karla Crome, Nathan McMullen, Shaun Dooley, Matt Stokoe, Robert Sheehan, Natasha O’Keeffe, Craig Parkinson, Matthew McNulty
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Fantasy, Romance, SF
Country: UK
Viewing method: Selected episodes

Why in Database: In the fourth episode of season four (Episode Four), there is a reference to the story of tortoise and Hare.

– That’s like the, er, story of the tortoise and the hare.
– Eh?
– Or is it the owl… owl and the pussycat? Something about a lion and a dog?

Season five is have a lot of turtle elements. In episode one and episodes 4-7, a turtle “person” appears, most of the time it is just an ordinary turtle, but from the narration we learn that it is actually a man turned into a turtle as a result of a storm, an event significant to the series, which gave people very different “powers”. In the aforementioned seventh episode, there is a method that allows you to reverse the effects of the storm, thanks to which it is confirmed that it is indeed a man. One of the main characters falls in love with this turtle, called Mark, so he appears in her company in many scenes, he is also mentioned in many conversations, for example in one in which she wants to convince another character to “get closer” to the turtle.

S05E04 (Episode Four):

– Why is there a turtle by the biscuits?
– He turns up every week. It’s someone with a power.
– There’s someone inside of there?
– Yeah.
– His name’s Mark.
– All right, mate?

Guys. There’s someone I’d like you to meet. I found him at the group last night. There’s a person in there.
– Sorry? Hang on. You found a turtle, and you just thought that you’d pick him up and take him home? You abducted a turtle?
– Well, technically, it’s a tortoise.

– Alex, will you do me a quick favour? Will you fuck my tortoise?
– Urn… just give me a minute to think about… that. Er… actually, I don’t need a full minute. It’s a no.
– It’s a man and his name’s Mark.He’s trapped in here and he can’t get out.
– That is really tragic.
– Mm.
– But I’m still not fucking your tortoise.
– You have no idea, do you? I found out what my power is and it’s totally useless. There’s nothing I can do to help anyone. But you… you can make a difference. You’re the only one out of us who can actually change people’s lives. And what are you doing about it? Nothing. It’s just sat there in your pants. Use your power, Alex. Help people. Be a superhero. Fuck the tortoise, Alex.

– So, hang on. Now you’re into helping people, would you?
– No. I won’t shag your tortoise.

05E06 (Episode Six:

– So… I’ve been thinking.
– You’re going to make me fuck your turtle, aren’t you? You… bitch.
– I don’t want to take advantage of your situation.
– Yes, you do. Yes, you do, because you know that I can’t say no. So, you’re going to make me fuck your turtle.
– Well, it’s the only way that we can be together as man and woman, rather than woman and turtle, which is… it’s just too weird.
– If I fuck him to death, it isn’t on me.
– Maybe you could just come on his shell.
– It doesn’t work like that.I Wish it did.
– Just be tender and gentle. Try not to hurt him.
– I’m ramming my cock up a turtle’s arse, and you don’t want me to hurt him?
– Maybe you could just get him drunk first or…

– You with him?
– Er… no, don’t look at me like that, cos you’re in love with a turtle, so…

– Look, I’m not going to shag you, because I’m in love with my turtle.
– Oh. Oh, I…
– But I feel really bad about you dying and everything, so I’ll give you a hand job.

S05E07 (Episode Seven):

At least you lot are here. And Mark.
Oh, well, it’s all about Mark, isn’t it? Cos he can really make or break a party, can’t he – Mark.

Oh, and I almost, almost shagged a tortoise once.
So, you do draw the line at shagging animals?

What are you doing?
I’m waiting for Mark to come up on his pill.
You gave ecstasy to a turtle?
I gave ecstasy to a tortoise.

I think I’m your mentor. Actually, you know, like the, um… Like the talking rat on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the, er… Splinter!

I’ve thought about you lots. I can’t believe you’re really here.
It feels strange. It… It feels… great. What about when the pill wears off?
We’ll sort something out.
I get… I get so lonely when you’re out on the estate. I’m just in my shell waiting for you.
We’ll buy a big bag of pills. I’ll get Alex to shag you. I won’t let you go back in there.

The Ninja Turtles are mentioned in episode seven, and they are referenced again in the following episode eight (Episode Eight):

– You’re telling me the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles never killed some ignorant fucker for dropping litter or shitting in the street?
-No, they didn’t. Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello and Raphael would never have done any of them things. They lived by a code!

Author: XYuriTT

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